My little one reached a milestone of her own. A few weeks ago, she began swimming on her own without the help of her body float. Nothing in the paragon of a life-changing mission trip, but one small step into a more independent world. In her world, it's the "no floatie" era. Instead of clinging to me in the pool and directing me to stand in certain areas to catch her as she belly flops her way to me, she pretty much uses me now as a temporary buoy towards her next destination. I'm no longer needed as her life line, except for the few times water fills her nose.
When we took our eldest to the airport, we watched as the teenagers and college age kids prepared to embark. One set of kids, two sisters and a brother, were without their parents. Not unusual but of course I pointed it out to my wife. (The eldest is 24, the middle one a sophomore in college). Look at them, I wondered, they're so independent they don't even need their parents to help them. Here we are with mine, we're right beside her, telling her when the check-in lady asks, "Have you been in possession of your bags?" make sure to say yes! The middle daughter of the three we were watching works at a local coffee shop. I caught her on her very first day, wide-eyed and frustrated enough to find that placing a lid on a large coffee was a daunting task. After briefly talking about having first job jitters, she replied, "My dad cut me off now that I'm in college." Who even uses the phrase "cuts me off"? It sounds like she stepped out of a Great Gatsby-esque novel.
I grew somewhat envious. Who are these brave parents? Who "cuts off" their kids to find jobs on their own? Who sends off their kids to the airport without a wave or goodbye (now, I'm being biased here, maybe they were dropped off)? Were these parents of envy or parents of scorn?
From the beginning it's been a tug and pull relationship with my eldest daughter. I know God is preparing me for what lies ahead, when she is fully entrenched in college and living on her own, married, with a family to take care of. There have been preparations for this moment before. As a fifth and sixth grader, we began to share much of her time with her many several friends, and we haven't really looked back. We just ate dinner with one of her softball teammates. It's a minute gripe, sharing time, but over the course of years you wonder where all the time has gone. School functions, softball, church, we've watched our daughter transform into this amazing young woman. Her trip to Puerto Rico pretty much summed up her life with us. She found herself in some minor scrapes, fell into a bed of sea urchins, was stung by a jellyfish and probably almost drowned. She also cliff dived, read devotions on the beach, and fell in love. She had the life of a movie. She also had her life, without my intervention. She's swimming without her floatie.
My little one still needs me. She clings to me in bed and warrants a but wiping every trip to the bathroom. She sometimes gets her arms tangled in the straps of her blouse and she always needs me to pour her a cup of chocolate milk. But this is where I have it all wrong. My eldest needs me too, just in a different way. She doesn't need me for study help or coaching. She does value me as an observer, someone who will challenge her decisions and to help her when her back tire gets flat. I'm in the realization that Lisa has never been mine to begin with--she's God's. I've just been put here to nurture her growth. The same is with my little one. I should be happy she's jumping into her pool of life, never once looking back at the dad who just wants to swim with her.
No comments:
Post a Comment