It's ironic to me that the message of my week was "busyness" and today is the epitome of "nothingness." God has slowed me down today, even my mind is working on half its normal energy. Grading papers became an arduous task; the circling of adverbs, the last word in alphabetical order neatly underlined. A stuffy nose will do that to you. The Kleenex laying beside me on my tray is a testament to my non activity.
Earlier this week, I finally got around to taking my "Marriage Assessment", which places your attributes and time-starved life on a quadrant. Both Delcina and I had similar attributes, which explains quite a bit to both of us. Because both of us are fairly subjective on our time priorities, we tend to be more like "ish" people. "I'll meet you at 3-ish." I haven't made an appointment on time in years. Why? Not because I don't want to. My dad was a strict rule/time follower. He loves movies, and we would always routinely arrive 30 minutes prior to the opening show. My buddy Dennis is opposite of me as well. When I say 1 o'clock, it means 12:45 to him. For me, it would be 1:15.
With that lax attitude about how special our time is, sometimes jobs get started but never completed. A steady stream of consciousness pervades our thoughts on what is important to fix at home. The end tables that need sanded and refinished, crown molding in the living room, the loose handle on the oven, a new mailbox, the Christmas totes that still need to find a home in the crawl space. Our finances are just as mind boggling. We spend for the now, rather then the furniture. When the other couples in our group study talk about enjoying their cruise vacations, Delcina and I just stare and wonder what we are doing wrong. I always used to blame the fact that both of us were too overweight for that beach vacation, the cruise, but in all honesty, we have never set that as a goal. Maybe we've been doing it all wrong.
And then there's my son. Delcina and I went to counselling to initiate getting my son some help with his tantrums and lack of attention in school and at home. We've been mindful of his outbursts and his "all boyishness" but there comes a time when you run our of options as a parent. What happens when grounding your kid doesn't work? Or spankings? Medication has been something I was hesitant about, but being a teacher makes us both realize how crazy it is to punish someone who just can't help themselves. And sitting there in the office while the counselor fervently writes down our sins and offenses in legal pad put my week in perspective. She kept checking her watch, I kept checking the walls and bookshelf. Del was focused, I yawned and worried about if anyone could hear my chair-gas. Here is the skeleton and bones of my marriage, my life, my fatherhood. All on display. Poor Cruz. He never saw it coming.
School. This week I terminated the option of doing open-ended projects for the colonial life unit we are doing in class. No wonder my kids at school do not get their work turned in on time. Look at their teacher! While I'm grading their acheievemnt in reading aloud, I'm checking on a text message. Why is that word wall collecting dust? Did a dead body just fall out of my desk?
And we get back to Cruz. In a moment of daddyness, I jot down a schedule. Homework, reading, walking the dog, snack time, tv time, etc. And wouldn't you know that was the one moment of the week where I felt like a father again. "Dad, I like my new schedule. I know what I'm doing everyday." We enjoyed playing Star Wars Monopoly (and the teachable moment of organizing his money and property), and he read books to his sister. There was throwing of teddy bears and shouting, but the Cordova house stood firm. Unbroken.
No comments:
Post a Comment