Who doesn't like fortune cookies? In my long history of devouring 2 plates at Chinese buffets and inhaling a fortune cookie afterward is one of my hungerous highlights. They have even evolved over time. When I was a kid they simply had a saying. Now, they have lucky numbers, lucky months and word of the days in Chinese.
When people use fortune cookie phrases in daily conversation, it's the kind of cookie you need not unwrap. Sometimes it's annoying to hear a quip from an unknown author about how you should be more grateful, or thankful, or full of something. Your parent says one and they sound so wise (or annoying) and when you say one you come across as enlightened (or a douche bag).
I told one of my daughter's coaches last year that she had a fortune cookie mentality when my daughter needed her the most. Perhaps I was being a bit dramatic. I was compressing her years of experience by taking one quote out of context. Control the controllables was just not the one thing I wanted to hear as my daughter sat the bench. I know she probably told my daughter many other things that season that I didn't hear.
Two years previous when a different coach said the phrase to my daughter at practice, the fortune cookie zen-like Control what you can control sounded like the best advice for a struggling hitter. Get the umpire's erratic strike zone out of your mind--can't control it. Get the idea out of your mind the pitcher is trying to walk you or hit you--can't control what she's throwing. Stop thinking about who will be mad at you if you strike out--can't control it.
During a contentious staff meeting on Wednesday, the same phrase leaked back into my conscious--Control the controllables.
And I made a list, like any good teacher would do. A graphic organizer of things I can control and things I cannot. Like my bosses decisions. I cannot dictate any of those decisions just to suit me. Or my student's attendance. This past week with onyl 4 days of school to attend, there were a total of 8-10 different absences, at least 4 kids who left early and over 5 tardies. I cannot control the lack of transportation, or the unwilling feet of a child walking to the school bus.
What I can control is my attitude. I can control my reaction to the kids who misbehave, smack their lips or forget their homework. I can control how I treat my colleagues, too. Five years ago I left my old building in a flaming, bridge-destroying melee. I felt there was a lack of leadership, a lack of passion in my fellow hallmates, appreciation for the man sitting in room 16 who was undoubtedly the reason the school was still operational. Five years later, the school still stands. My friends have moved on, the principal has since left, and the kids have graduated and transferred to the awkwardness of junior high.
This year has come with an onslaught of challenges. 35 kids in the beginning of the year. Two grades. Coaching 2 different sports. An entire new curriculum to comb through and decipher. I began to build walls around me. The kids in room 160 would have the best education I could give them. I would single handedly solve all their ills and inspire a film director someplace to document that success to the silver screen. I needed someone at that moment to unravel my own fortune cookie aspirations to remind me what was important.
Silence and humility eventually won. Keeping silent is never something I handle easily. Saying sorry is something I'm working on. I admit my faults to a certain degree. In a room full of people, I act just like my students. I shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes. One on one, I can be sincere. A true man can be sincere, should be. Hypocrite, I am thee!
So after erasing and switching categories of my graphic organizer I came to the conclusion that I am in control more than I think. I'm a humanist by no means. God will place obstacles and people along the way to teach me something about myself. I don't always ask Him what lesson I am supposed to learn along the way, simply because I haven't trained myself to do so.
The cool thing about God's training program? It has a lifetime warranty.
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