I'm going to think twice listening to Christian music when I work out. Just that sentence alone sounds horrible, so let me set the context.
At Planet Fitness the endless line of cardio machines, ellipticals, sled glider machines, steppers and bikes all point to several 50-inch or more flat screen tv's that offer an stream of news, sound-bites and talking heads. The major news stations are on, Fox News and CNN, plus the local channels and ESPN. I typically work out from 5:30-7 on a few given nights which is when the news and entertainment shows are in full swing. A few weeks back after the MTV Music Awards, Entertainment tonight and its broadcasting cousins aired nothing but Miley Cyrus. It was close ups of Miley's tongue, close ups of her butt cheeks hanging out of her short shorts. Shots of her swinging naked on a wrecking ball. I felt embarrassed to even watch, Not that I don't sneak a peak at women. But there's something unseemly about Miley Cyrus, perhaps in the fact she looks like she's 12 but she parades around like the woman you hope to meet in some dark alley (well, I don't hope to meet, but you get my drift).
Most times its the news. Obama care and his broken promises about keeping your insurance. Is he dishonest or a liar? Isn't that one in the same? The video from the recent biker group that chased a hit and run perpetrator has been plugged a lot recently. And of course we get the video of the car rolling over a human being. We get men acting violently, attacking the car and beating the windows with their helmets like fervid zombies.
Today the news in our city involved the beating death of a 4 year old girl. The girl suffered multiple skull fractures that were delivered by the mom's boyfriend. The child's grandmother and family were caught by cameras in the courtroom hallways, being asked the types of questions no family should have to ask. The grandparent is interviewed shortly afterward as he condemns the accused to hell.
On another screen there are other tales of woe. A man weeps on his porch, Words from athletes blurted out, redacted for the masses. I've heard about bullying and harassment so much over the past few years you'd think there were gangs on every street corner waiting to take your lunch money (In this fantasy, the gangs are always dressed according to their "specialty" like the ones from the 1979 film, The Warriors. Baseball bats and white painted faces. The roller-skating, overall gang. I'm sure there are gangs of bullies running in my mind all wearing camouflage and Duck Dynasty beards).
I'm inclining on the treadmill seemingly towards the direction of the tv's and it's like that moment in a movie when the music swells and the camera tightly wounds around the face of the protagonist. The moment of epiphany is about to happen (for a great example, see Magnolia). The audience's heart begins to beat in unison with the character. Being witness to the epiphany is cathartic in itself. The release of tears becomes inevitable. Cue music swell, the character blinks and the moment is over. Cut scene.
But I'm at a Fitness center. All I want to do is drop to my knees (thanks to this song here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6JQDsbtlM) but the thought of dropping there on the treadmill would send me into the wall which would result in a fireball of embarrassment so intense it would burn like a thousand suns. So I did what I thought best. I began to pray. I prayed for the man to forgive the man who bludgeoned the poor girl to death (all I could think about was my little girl. Who would beat a little girl like that? Seeing her little teeth, that smile. God, that just kills me thinking about it). I prayed for the family whose son is now behind bars. Surely this is not the life plan they had in mind when they held him lovingly for the first time. I prayed for the football player who thought it was just "fun" to say he was going to stick it to a sister of a teammate. I prayed for the sports newscaster who recently lost a daughter in a car accident.
I came across the parable of the seed from Luke 8. A farmer goes out to scatter his seed. Some falls along the path, among the rocks, some in good soil and others among thorns. The seed that grows among thorns grows, but it ends up being choked by the thorns. In a worldy view, growing up through thorns would be considered superhuman. These are the uplifting stories we get from athletes and public figures. The adversity they faced living in the tough neighborhood, the deaths of family members or close friends. The close calls that lead to those epiphanies that no one sees. In the broken world we live in, the thorns are evident in bunches. Among the 27 students in my 5th grade classroom, they are the seeds growing among thorns.
But I'm not so sure Jesus told us this parable for us to strive for adversity in living a life that's called to seek justice, a call to a life that's bigger than oneself. It's a cautionary tale. How many Christians make it through a life that is surrounded by naysayers, doubters and gawkers? The world wants revenge, the Christian wants forgiveness. Thorns v supple soil. Adversity and trials come at a moments notice and we have no idea how to respond.
Like tonight when I turned the van around and drove back home. I simply had more of my fill of the world. All I wanted to do was cry. All I wanted to do was pray. I think it's okay to do both.
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