I read a great blog the other day that at first caused me to think the link was meant for people like me. I fell into the blog's trap though, and the sin of vanity. But I am guilty of posting positive things for my "friends" to see. Of the 900 or so people who I've friended on Facebook, and the 300 or so who follow me on Twitter, I don't have a close relationship with but a handful of them. There's been studies that say the human brain cannot possibly carry more than 150 people for you to care about, and probably even remember the names of, much less 900. Am I faking it when I tell people that I love Mondays and decry the inevitable declarations of TGIF whenever I hear them? Am I being truthful when I post a selfie on Instagram or that perfect filtered picture of my daughter on her way to school in the morning?
The blog in question's thesis are the lies in omission we deliver to the public. I watched a video this past weekend at a youth conference I attended with my junior and senior high kids from church that also challenged the notion of how we live these simple, disconnected versions of real lives through social media. The thinking goes, we have allowed ourselves to think we are lonely, therefore we strive for friends, followers, likers and chatters that will make us feel connected even when connection is far from what we truly are. The message was for the youth in the audience, but it might as well have been for me too.
We choose to post what we want to post. We can essentially airbursh the pictures we post because they only show the truth we want others to see. About 5 years ago I made a conscious choice to "go positive" on my social media accounts. It's about as easy to do as walking past a buffet full of food and not wanting four plates. Sometimes.
You see, all that positive energy and smiles are all attributed to God, even when they have been attributed to my own luck or own deeds. A few weeks back a visiting pastor called it having a "Jesus smirk." Why should the joy I've been given be kept in some unlit basement? God calls us to be the "light". The best way is to beam the smile I kept under lock and key for over 20 years.
Perhaps I a making up for lost time. I complained and grumped so much of my young adult life away (and ask my wife, I still complain plenty) that I felt I owed God. Despite these best intentions, none of my positive energy, good deeds or offerings mean anything to Him. He wants our heart, and my heart is sometimes wrapped in the acknowledgement of others.
You don't think I'll count the amount of readers of this blog? Or that I have counted the number of likes a picture of my family receives? Perhaps it's arbitrary scoreboarding, considering you don't have control of the numbers game on Facebook. But social media is all about the love of self. Instagram is our life in pictures, vine for those small seconds of what we want you to witness, Facebook to make you popular, twitter for the mindless thoughts and feeling of community, and snap chat for the risque pictures we don't want shared with the world. It's all self congratulatory.
If I was "real" on Facebook and post every detail of my life it would probably go something like this:
My son wont stop crying that he lost his iPod charger. It's been 15 minutes and I'm already late for work. He complained all last night to get his homework done. 8 back to back pages of math and spelling and reading every week. Poor kid sits all day and does homework all night. Don't these teachers have a life? Wait until I email the superintendent.
Why am I spending another snow day on the couch. I did not work out, but I did not cave in to the unopened bag of Fritos in the cupboard. I sent my kids to bed without a kiss, a prayer of having them brush their teeth. I wish I could just look at nudie pictures of busty women and stay up until 2 am.
I'm totally not wanting to attend bible study tonight. I didn't read and I have nothing nice to say after I yelled at some kid today at school. I have a belly-full of fries I engulfed on my way from work that I didn't want to share or my family to know about. Will anyone grade my stack of papers? Will it be awful if I left my back yard gate open and the dog ran away?
I know there's a contingent of people who would undoubtedly "like" this life. I have actually unfollowed friends for posting these types of posts. Am I being unreal by choosing to turn my ears from the noise of their lives? Should I be more of a Christian and give them some upbeat words of encouragement, or better yet, a super Christian by "praying" for them? I've been told that Christians live in some bubble world to distance themselves from the sinful world around them. Perhaps there's some truth to that.
I read recently about American journalists in Sochi who have met culture shock face to face. The hotel rooms in the city are deplorable at best. Brown running water, curtain rods broken, a lack of toilet paper and homes turned into a make-shift lobby. Does it make our country look worse for complaining about the necessities we have taken for granted? There has been lots of talk about how Sochi has scrubbed the streets clean of homeless and blatantly hack into computers and cell phones of tourists. We expect every country to be like America wherever we go. We are stunned at how other countries treat gays, women and children. Sochi seems like a Russian version of China, where the smiling faces hide some ugly truths underneath.
The world would have us believe we have some choice in the matter. Super Bowl commercials bring out the craving consumerism in us all, make us want their products when we don't even need them. I have directv, which allows me over 400 channels of entertainment at my fingertips. I've changed the channel during the Grammys but I willingly watch violent shows and simulated sex. My life can be DVR-ed and fast forwarded at my whims.
I don't know any way to be. As a teacher, there are some things I can't post legally. I don't complain about my student's parents or kids but my wife knows otherwise. I don't always use my time wisely and my body is beginning to show the symptoms of my lifestyle. There was actually a stretch of 3 or 4 days when I didn't post a thing because I knew I had that vitrol that wanted to spew on everyone who would listen.
And that's what free will is all about. It's a choice. A choice to live differently. To make a mark. To change the channel and edit out the distractions. So I'm going to continue to edit the problems and own up to my mistakes. That's my brokenness too, in that I want others to see. It's a twisted form of fellowship all of us strive for in one way or another. Mine is just louder than most.
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