So today I became an official licensed driver (again).
As many of you know I'm not a teenager nor did I have my licensed suspended for some misdemeanor offense. My crime? I let my license expire. Like way expire. 6 months expire. And for the last month I've had a life lesson as I've tried to navigate through the process of getting everything renewed, which included my license plate tags as well.
I haven't always been good with deadlines. Obviously for a man who lets something go that long, it's become almost easy to look the other way when it comes to meeting certain requirements. Even back when I was in high school, I can't say that I was great with homework or due dates. Like lots of every other kid I knew, I blew off homework and studying until I needed to get serious. It cost me some grades early on as a freshman. Not taking my grades seriously, I failed almost all my classes and was ineligible for sports. Not a happy house I went home to for a few months.
I worked hard to get my grades up to par after transferring to another high school. When it wasn't my grades I procrastinated on almost everything else, much to the frustration of my poor mom who was always cleaning after me, and my step-dad who probably felt I wasn't worth the time. By my third high school, I had done just enough to get by. When the class or subject interested me, like journalism and my writing classes, I gave more of an effort. Probably never 100 percent effort. I don't think I ever knew what that was. I surely didn't give it in sports, and I surely did not give it in other aspects of my life. I knew it was not a way I was ever going to be successful. Despite my step-dad's blue collar profession, he regularly gave all he had at work and even more when he was involved in sports on the weekends. My mom was a hard worker too. It wasn't like she napped all day and smoked cigarettes on the porch.
By the time I got into college, I knew my work habits would eventually catch up to me. When any of my classes became tough I slacked off even more. Eventually I dropped out after only a semester. I couldn't juggle the demands of my first ever girlfriend-distraction, school and work. My first trial as an adult was an all-out failure of epic proportions.
I knew that my tags and license expired this past August. I initially gave it some priority on my typical "I'll-get-to-it" calendar. Once school started, I never gave it another thought. The one thing that has changed about my driving habits is that I don't really speed or drive recklessly. I stayed away from having tickets as of late even when I was averaging 2 citations per year. Speeding here, not wearing a seat belt, a few rolling stop sign run throughs too. But I've been pretty good lately. But when your tags are expired it's like a beacon of light to a cop driving behind me.
I took a day off to take care of the license renewal. When I arrived I was told that since it was expired I needed to have a birth certificate, social security card and a utility bill to get them renewed. I had everything but the birth certificate. I tried locating a copy at home, going through old files to no avail. I eventually sent a request through to my home state of Texas, paid 20 bucks and was told it would take up to 3 weeks.
3 weeks later, with my birth certificate in hand I went back to try and renew. In that time I had sent in my payment for my traffic violation in the mail. More on that later. With the extended time I needed to get that birth certificate, the license had now expired over 6 months, which meant I had to start from scratch and sign up for a driver's test. It also meant I could not renew my tags.
Later that week, my attempt to pay my ticket through the mail came back. I now had a warrant for my arrest because I did not appear in court. In my defense, the cop did not check the must appear in court box on the bottom of the ticket. So my poor wife who's been my taxi for that time now has to drive me downtown so I can get this ticket taken care of.
I don't know if you've ever been in traffic court, dear reader, but not much has changed. Long lines, bailiffs who silence the crowd with please-keep-it-downs that sound more like demands, and all kinds of chances to people watch. One woman in front of me was taking a selfie and posting it on Instagram. Various individuals wearing hats that were told to remove. Young men having to pick up their pants. A woman wearing a hijab was continually going up to the bailiff and the prosecutor to ask questions. I think she was in some kind of hurry. A woman in her pizza delivery attire, looking very stressed and late for the day.
I sat up close to the front row so I heard all the whispers and "crimes" of the defendants. It gave me a time to creatively wonder why they were there, only to realize that many of them were in the same boat I was in. I didn't realize how many non-licensed drivers there are in Columbus. Some had suspended licenses too, which meant heavy fines or jail time. I started to freak out about my own fines, which was a lower misdemeanor that carried a possible maximum 1000 dollar fine. I'm texting my poor wife who had went back home and was now circling downtown waiting for me to finish.
I finally received good news when I was given a continuance to finish getting my license and tags renewed. That week prior I had went to get a permit. I had to take a computerized driver's test. I'm sitting in there with teenagers and I freaked out a bit at the thought of failing the test. I missed a few questions about weight requirements on the road and how many cars I need to be behind another driver. Permit issued.
With my permit in place, I was able to get my tags renewed. I was dancing in the parking lot. This morning I went back to take my driving test. I had to review a chart to make sure I knew what the maneuverability portion of the test was. Thankfully I didn't have to parallel park but I did remember my first time ever driving test as a teenager. I failed that day (that's another story!) and I was sweating today. I made sure I used both hands when I held the wheel. I stopped completely at stop signs and looked both ways before crossing. I put my blinkers on way before I needed to. When it was my time to drive through a set of cones, I did okay. I actually hit one driving back through one, but I did better on my second run. I felt as nervous as the teenagers had been that morning too. One girl's mom was there who gave me a congrats. Her own daughter was taking her test that day too. Nothing makes you feel younger like taking a driving test.
I was able to get my license renewed shortly afterwards. I felt like the kids I saw with their parents, embarrassed to show my picture to my youngest daughter when she wanted to check if I had properly smiled.
There's more chances for renewals and deadlines at work this year. My teaching license is due this year as well, and like my typical self I'm running towards the finish line on fumes. I'm 2 credits shy of renewal, which means I have to take a class in May to get it done. Nothing life doing it the hard way.
In all this time I've had to wait in lines and wait for my number to be called, I've taken lots of time to find that silver lining. I decided not to post on Facebook cause I didn't want to seem like I was complaining. Overall, the system worked for me. No one was rude. No one was impolite. But I did understand what some people have to go through being in court that day. A little empathy hurts no one.
I know there's a lesson about change in this story too. It just so happens that I have been reading a book called "Christian Atheist" by Craig Groeschel. Of course I came across the chapter titled, "When You Believe in God but Don't Think You Can Change" right as I'm going through all this. The book's theme is that we believe and we go to church and check the boxes, but when it comes to allowing the true work of God to take place in our heart, we act much as if God doesn't exist like an atheist would. Even though I am not the same person I was when I became a Christian, I get myself into these ruts. My past has been a yoke I have yet to allow God to have. I'm great at praying for others, or believing in the power of Jesus to heal others, but when it comes to my own life I have yet to fully give control once and for all. I still cling to bad habits like high school love letters. Craig says in his book that for me to allow God to be God, to do things in His strength instead of my own, one must can the excuses, cut the ties that bind and surrender. He points to the story of the paralyzed man in the book of John.
When Jesus realized the man had been by the pool at Bethesda for a long time, he asked the invalid, "Do you want to be healed?" The man didn't answer with a resounding yes! You'd think he would have, but he says, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me." How typical is that for us too. God is continually reaching down to cure us of our addictions and hangups. "Do you want to be healed?"
Yeah but I know have others to heal so don't bother.
Yeah but my sin is too great. Why would you?
Yeah but I can't change who I am even if you would heal me?
Maybe this time I will allow the work to work. Renewing the license leads to a spiritual lesson in renewal. Who knew?
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