Old Man Toes

Today was the evening I had been praying for. After a summer of softball from Thursday to Sunday, without much end-of-season payoff, then going into the fall with unresolved feelings and more schedules, Volleyball drama and school-wide computer system failures, it all culminated into a clear, 60 degree day, fall Ohio.

Cruz and I threw the football, I wheezed trying to outrun him and he couldn't catch a football on the run. Reycina was like a bag-lady, carting her wares through the cul-de-sac, seemingly talking about everything and nothing all at once.

We took a walk in the neighborhood, Cruz stopping at every corner or block marker (stop at the white mailbox, or stop at the Frankenstein in that yard). At one point, I told Milly to hurry to pet a puppy that Cruz was petting at the corner. By the time her little feet get there, the puppy leaves. So, she's bawling as we walk down the street, hand in hand, pulling a wagon with a purple, gargantuan tennis ball in the carriage. We ended up back at the puppies' house, where she quickly ended her tears (they always seem to vanish once she gets her way. hmmmm), petted the puppy and we went on our way.

I'm reminded of the book, "Shiloh," which I'm reading aloud in class. Poor beagle gets abused, boy keeps beagle a secret. man comes looking for beagle, drama ensues. Great book. I'm tying it in with "Because of Winn-Dixie" during reading, how both characters show nerve and heart, how the dogs are a catalyst for change. I also notice both books have doses of religion, in that both characters pray for childhood concerns, or that the ritual of religion are characteristics of secondary characters.

I see symbols of God in other novels. Ever read "Sounder"? Totally Biblical. How do you learn about Martin Luther King, Jr, or Harriet Tubman and not invoke some kind of spiritual talk? I've been watching the PBS series, "God in America," a six-hour essay on America's origins that were rooted in religion, but them splintered off from Anne Hutchison's defiance of Puritan authority to atheists' fight for the separation of church from our school systems. Billy Graham (didn't realize his impact on the current American political/religious right landscape), and the Methodist movement, just some of the interesting discussion worthy topics. These are the kinds of videos we should be watching in class. How will my kids truly understand an abolitionist without understanding the foundation for which they were basing their argument? Or even a slave trader, who would also use the Bible to justify owning slaves?

I'm blessed to also have a great student teacher 3 days out of the week. We talk about God, and family and our pasts, our futures. She's young and a churchgoer, not something that typically goes hand in hand anymore. We both agree that we both would never be smart enough to understand brokenness, or the great "whys" of the world. We're simply bystanders to something greater than us.

So tonight I ate Frosty's with my kids and asked them silly questions, "Did you eat old man toes for breakfast?" and watched them laugh. I laid next to them in bed and felt like crying. I don't deserve to blow dry my daughter's beautiful hair, or to hear the giggles of my son. Cruz tells me tonight, "Daddy, I want to be like you." Son, you're going to be so much more.